someone you have been searching for a long time

Sunday, November 27, 2005

+___________+youwillowaxbemylittleprincess+___________+
imissyew!!!!!!!!!!!haisssssss......im missinyew badly.i wan u back gal!i wan u ar.haiss.!!!!
i miss yew!!but u have him by ur side le!!!!!!!!sad case arx!!!!

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
12:34 AM

*************** Saturday, November 26, 2005

time has been passin by each dae in such a quick n fast wae.
231105-/its when it begins...
well have been good...hais...sobsob...so damn e sad case cann...hahas...tml have to go back to the police station...haiyo...dunno what can...hmmm..
now so insecure...hahas..hmmmx..i have a secrets that onli germ...perhaps onli her noe ba..hais....sigh...sad case canx.
i think sand veri poor thing can.haiss...i swear nvr to be the one that germain tan need anymore.shes owax makin me sad haiss....
n i hate to be lurvin u.cuz u makes me sad everythin.curve ur name..hais..but hu noes can..hais....sad sad saad..im feelin sad..
yesterdae is the supposedly 3month can!!!!hais.... sad case arx..hmmm....onli sand noe my greatest secrets...*shhhh..hais... hmmmmm. imissyew alot!!!!!!

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
4:26 PM

*************** Monday, November 21, 2005

i broke sly's heart.i guess..hmmm how what shld i do?im so sorri but ya.choose to let go ba..turn straight..hmmm.
was in school todae...hmmm hais,actuali was all along ok de la..but den hor..hmmm keep wantin to...i dunno leh..wave to esther ye den she she wave n turn away..lyk avoid me lo..hmmm i dun lyk esther ye le...so sad!!!hais give up le la!!sae so much owax will not return!haiyo!!!
i stil wanna noe if she stil lyks me but dun wan la,i noe is a no cuz she lyks her stead so much..i mean,oso to the extend of lurve..hmmm haiss..todae i was packin my room den i put everything she gave me in a big box...have to put those memories away.hmmm...

yesterdae shawn jio me lo..hais dunno he serious or fake de..hmmm i dunno..den what abt jun kuan?haiyo...im confused!!!

help ppl!!!!

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
11:36 PM

shld i accept shawn or junkuan?i super confused..haisyo..how arx..hmmm help me ppl!!!my best fren oso turn straight le..me leh..hmmm.hais how...shawn is veri ah beng lo..but quite sweet la..how?

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
7:35 AM

*************** Saturday, November 19, 2005

hmmmx yesterdae nite i accidentally deleted the whole folders on esther...everything..hais..all the pictures of her...those memories..guess its reali time ba..hmmm...hais,to let go of everything le..hmmm..hais,sad case can..hmmm den all those messages i have from her i delete all le..hmmm cuz heard that she got stead le..hais...79lines soon ba..anywae,i dun lyk her liao..yupp...

i goin out with shawn n christopher n germaine nme lo...hmmmx maybe goin watch movie..haiyo....tink we'll in lurve..haas.

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
10:55 PM

i think i lurve my new target!!!argh!!
she rocks!!
*hint:sec three in normal stream!hmmm go guess ba..yupp...
she super cute de can...noe he for ard 4mths now den lyk her...gosh..i keep saein she cute but seldom see her hmmm nvm...
xin you lin xin.

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
9:28 PM

gosh!!!i miss esther..haiss..sobsob..HAIS..SHE SUPER HEARTLESS... sae go den go..do u noe how hurt i am?u nvr even let me tell u lotsa things..hais.

got stead le hai..nv tel me when im like stil holdin on to yew.hais... i mish yew but hais.....

got guy jio me..hmmm shld i stead not ?hais.,.. dun wan la hais...hmmm den tt dae when out with christopher n shawn n germ supposedly muz smoke.hais...den 15 got so many things happen.hais..i get caught for stealin..tt germ la..hais...but i dun blame her hais..hmmm den get lock up n get handcuff n si police car can..hais!!!!!!!!

so sad now hais..after readin it..hais!!!!i want yew!yew!yew!hmmm but i stil wan zhenze lo.hais..hmmm but den even if i want her oso cannot lo.hais...have leta for er..hais..yupp.

u no longer lurve me!*sobb

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
9:19 PM

*************** Saturday, November 12, 2005

i knew another truth again todae.hais...is that all my frens lied to me again..hais,im not a fool.im nt for u all to bluff me.im a human.why u all owax nv tel me anythin...muz wait till i find it out myself....hais...is super the hurtin de can..i dun trust in any of u le anymore..what scare i angry den keep on bluffin me de lo...haiss...forget it la ok...im lyk controllin now..even my best fren sarah is lyk that to me...hais,now all my frens are all lyk this to me...its veri saddenin de can..i felt lyk..cryin..but yutin'g next to me,im gonna control all my tear..haiss..i dun trust in frens anymore..i thot after whatever i tok to yutin abt yesterdae,i can trust tt she nv kept me in the dark at all for anythin..but its all...hais;..
even my closest frens are treatin me lyk me..what didi i do!!!!!!i thot my life wuld be beta nowadaes..but..im wrong...dey are all keepin me in the dark..dere are times i trusted dem again..but..ive finally noe the truth...i hate myself for believin.even sarah.i simply hate myself!!!!!!i guess im just another fool now!

i hate my life!

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
4:21 AM

*************** Thursday, November 10, 2005

joanna miss esther arx.hais...i miss her so much...she nvr contact me yesterdae.gosh..chat with her online..now i noe the reAson why she owax nvr col me de..hmmm i shld be brave n nvr be sad le...hmmm
how to get well leh?im super sick can..hmmm...nth to blog le..im bored!!

joanna miss esther!!!

i want zhen de!!!

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
7:17 AM

+___________+youwillowaxbemylittleprincess+___________+

im sick for this few daes...gosh..hais,high fever loh..

hais..stil hopin that she will contact me...

but i guess,its all false hope loh..hais...

im missinh herr!!!

i want zhen de!!!ARGH!!!

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
7:06 AM

*************** Wednesday, November 09, 2005

+___________+youwillowaxbemylittleprincess+___________+

im breakin into millions pieces rite now+*

i dun wan to lurve yew,but its all beyond my control =[

life seems so tough for me to go on.i dunno where am i headin to rite now.i cant find the wae out from this dark wurl.it seems to be in a complete black stage.i have been feelin so down.i cried myself to sleep.i guess im back to my old stage.the joanna who use to suffer from depression.i ant.cuz i am oreadi trap now.who will understand exactly how i feel?i guess its no one.none of my frens is there for me especially when im at my weakest time rite now.

is there such thing as true frens?i dunno.i cant find one rite now.i wanna let all my frens noe how am i feelin n to let them noe how much they mean to me.but i guess,there's no longer any chance anymore.all i can do is to break down by myself.bcuz there is no one hu will willingly lend me their shoulders to cried on.=x

frens are all leavin me one by one.none of them seems to be returnin back.i m reali veri tired of life.my life has been in a mess.i guess there's no turnin back anymore.

forr my dearest another half:you have been goin thru so much with me durin this six years.i dun blame yew for not bein there for me but i onli have myself to blame.i blame myself for dependin so much on yew.i guess rite now,all my frens are leavin me even yew are too.i will owax remember yesterdae,when im veri sad n i msg yew,hopin that u would at least care or bether about me,but my mindset has been change.yew did not reply me at all..its ok anywae,its all the past.i dun blame yew for that too.whatever that happens,its by my own doin.i choose to have drifted away from yew n others.n i cant regret now cuz everything has oreadi happen.as for next year,we are not in the same class,but as long as i can,i will be there for yew.esp when u are down.remember that u will owax be missed by me =[

for yew my darlin germaine:i dunno abt u but i noe that life hasnt been good for me without yew in my life.rite now im at my weakest time n when i needed yew most,u ar not by my side,supportin me or even to pull me thru life.i dun blame yew for that cause eveything is all my fault.im the one that cause u to hate me so much,the one that cause yew to have decided not to get close to me anymore.n the one that cause u to lose all the trust in me.i dun blmae yew at all.but all i wanna sae is that,can yew stop hurtin urself?it hurts me more.u cant solve ur problems by hurtin urself.cux the pain will be more den what u have expected.i can be dere or u wenever u nid me,though im no longer ur close frens anymore,but owax remember that i am owax thinkin of yew.n whatever you promise me,promise that u will alrights?

another thing is that,shld i give up or to hang on?im tired of lurvin yew,gal.but afterall im willin..haiss..u cried for me yesterdae?i was stunned when i heard that.its the fourth time yew shed tears for me while everydae,my heart is breakin bcux of yew.haiss..tell me why?haiss...i guess...everything is fadin away.my feelins for yew will owax stay but slowly,it will fade.i will just let fate decide where shld i go next..hais...

haiss...i reali miss the dae 080805..the dae when u treat me so good.wha i super happi can haiss..how i wish that dae will nvr ends.how i wish time will stop that.how i wish those hurts you've had nvr happen before.but like what i sae,'how i wish'lo..hais...it has oreadi happen.nth can ever replaced all those things.

i will cry.yes i wuld.i dun care if others sae abt me.cux i noe how am i feelin.i will cry my heart out one dae.n who wuld be the one to lend me her shoulders?haiss...wait till that dae come.n i will try my very best to go on with life.but if i cant,frens,dun blame me alrights?life is long yet tiring too..haiss...

i prayed that God will be the one,just for me,and if time is up,he will take me up.i reali prad that dae will come quickly.i cant stand it anymore.haiss..i will owax remember that even when my frens leave me,God is still there for me.he will be the one that pull me thru my darkest time,the one that will shine his lights on my path when it gets tougher.for he sae ,

'come to me for i am with you.even when ur frens leave u,rmb that i will owax be there.'

i can do all things thru christ who strengthens me.

he died for me on the cross,bearin all my sins.

he died for me bcux he lurves me more than anyone else.

im no longer the gal u use to befriend with.

i cant find back my own identity.

i dunno who am i rite now.

i am so lost in this wurl.

i cant find back my true self.

the wurl is dark n there's no light.

i will nt be the usual cheerful gal i use to be.

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
5:54 PM

*************** Friday, November 04, 2005

+___________+youwillowaxbemylittleprincess+___________+
hello!
hahas.
geraldine here.
i am here to help jo change song
l0ls
i'm such a kind person
x)
hahs.
jo mus take care of urself okays =)
dun be so sad ler
haha
u got me!
mus be happy hors!
think of me n u will be very happy
l0ls.
shall stop here.
byebye!
20eight invaded jo's blog
hahas.=]

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
6:26 AM

*************** Thursday, November 03, 2005

i miss my papa lots lots!!!

joanna miss meibao!!!

yew yew yew...everydae ive been missin yew..hmmm wad am i gonna do?how can i forget every special memories of you?hmmm its tough.reali reali tough.

i got to go work soon!!i wan buy her trhe jay chou cd lors..hmmm even if i were to work till my hand turn rotten i will still work lo..hais..promisee are not meant to be broken.but sumtimes i still break it..hais..

im onli left with 57daes.what am i supposed to do leh?hais...felt lyk cryin...how how how!!!

anywae,hows life for me?haiss..i guess im gonna break down soon..hais but im swear to kip it all to myself.nvr wanna let anyone noe how have i been feelin.im gonna keep all my problems to myself.haiss..reali feelin kinda lonely nowadaes..has been lockin myself in the room n wonderin lots of things.what happen to me again?haiss..i appear happi to others but deep down im not.not even my best fren(use to be)germ,sarah or even yinjie noe..haiss...seldom contact dem le haiss...den my another half leh?haiss..i dunno...she's been busy nowadays.hmmm ive decided tt i am reali gonna keep everything to myself.

the whole world seems to be against me rite now.im cinfused,down,depressed.i guess soon i am gonna break down.but hu noes how im feelin?cuz no one cares.im just a borin person.my life's borin ='[..haiss... i noe tt i have to stand strong in life n to go on.but it seems so tough.haiss what shld i do ?=[ im reali feelin pain in me.i have been stopin myself from keepin in contacts with my frens.whad happen to me?im such a let down.

my life is in a big mess rite now?haiss...i gotta find myself back but how?haiss...every where i go nowadays,im goin alone.whatever i do,im doin it alone..whatever sadness i have,im keepin it to myself,im sharin my burdens with no one.haiss...im so tired of life suddenly.hais what shld i do.?

dun blame me for whtat i've done.its yew hu causes it-my fren.haiss...anywae,ppl,dun worri for me.im ok.haiss... i hate myself n esp my life. ='[

{ soulful writings by } ]]x[loving you hurts]x[ at
10:37 PM

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